Change your life

Some time ago, I talked to a friend about the akashic records reading I had done for her. We talked about how to manage the change process that the world around us is going through and impacts us.

Especially this year, we have had to get used to many situations that seemed to happen, but they are all the outcomes of a change process taking place on a deeper level. Even how difficult these situations are in our third-dimensional reality, let’s try to rise above it from our soul’s perspective and wonder: “What if what’s happening is exactly what we need, right now?”

No limitations

As there is no time limitation in soul reality, there is no past and no future. There is only right now in which things happen. Everything is here, right now, even the things that we can only experience from the limitation of a time frame in which we live. Our brains are pretty limited; that is why we “invented” the past and the present to filter out unnecessary information.

When we decided to take on this life’s experience, we already knew what kind of life we were choosing. We chose it because we wanted it; because the life you’re living is an experience you never wanted to miss out on.

Transformation is scary shit

 

There is a transformation going on. Transformation, a.k.a. change, is scary. This is because we, as humans, have built many blocks and restrictions to prevent us from living our full potential. We hide in fears, in stories, and in habits. But we have lost the consciousness to understand what’s going on at a higher level. Because of that we can only see (and feel) that we are threatened in our existence as we know it from this life’s perspective. As things change rapidly, we need to manage the change process inside of us. It scares the shit out of us, so we have a couple of choices. You

• fight and scream that it’s a scandal and post your conspiracy theories on Facebook;
• freeze and get stuck and can’t take action anymore;
• flee and hide because you’re overwhelmed by everything around you.

Examples of coping patterns

I see examples of all three patterns around me. I see the fighters who manage the change by telling us not to get the new vaccine because there is a chip inside it. They use Facebook to scream their truths at us and that they’re right and we’re wrong. What they forget is that to get your right, other people need to agree with you. Since there’s always someone to be found somewhere who disagrees with them, many insults are thrown to and fro. It breaks up family bonds and important friendships.

I also see more people than ever getting stuck over the last few years. They get burned out and are incapable of doing their job for a long time and sometimes never really recover from it. The number of people who develop depression or a psychiatric illness or people with serious diseases. Why is that? Is it our environment, or are there other causes?

What if this was exactly what you wanted?

But let me ask the question again: “What if all this outrage, stuckness, and overwhelm is exactly what you hoped to find in this life so that you could have a deep experience to help you grow on a soul-level?” If that was your objective, then boy, you’ve chosen the right life! Just suppose all this life crap isn’t for nothing. Thinking about it brings huge insight for me. If I came here to learn some human suffering, well, then my life was a huge success twenty years ago already. All that crap I struggled with suddenly makes sense and becomes less heavy. How about your life?

These are exciting times. What if you, as a soul, wanted to be present in this weird reality to see a transformation take place for humanity? Imagine yourself in your energy state sitting on that cloud, wondering if this life was the best you could get rather than “that other one.” How does it feel that you said YES wholeheartedly to the plan for your life? It gives me a good feeling that I said YES on all levels.

To manage the change process is hard

What I’m not saying is that you chose the circumstances. You chose the feelings it brought up and the opportunity to learn how to rise from it like a phoenix from the ashed. You did not choose how. It was the experience and the lesson of it.

I know that in some people’s lives, challenging things happen. People experience loved ones who die, having a difficult illness, or struggle with mental illness or poverty. Bad things happen. But what I want you to do is to look at it from a soul’s perspective. I believe that souls don’t want to experience exact situations. They want to experience certain feelings and want to learn how to overcome them in a soulful way.

As a soul, ready to incarnate, you were not held back by the blocks and restrictions you now experience. There was no need to drink too much, be a workaholic, or ignore your truth. As a soul, you want to know how it feels to experience crappy life circumstances. Hence, you go on an internship to grow and develop from overcoming difficult situations. You’re an intern now.

Understand that you are growing and developing hugely right now – if you let yourself. That’s why you need to manage the change process inside yourself. What you’re experiencing is what you’ll remember in your next lives or realities. It is okay to struggle with stuff and make mistakes repeatedly. Just be patient with yourself. You’re learning – you’ll get it someday. I promise.

How to manage the change process inside yourself

But how do you manage that change process? Here are some steps to work on it.

Observe

Amidst this crazy world, take a step back, and observe what is happening around you.

Do this as if you’re a Netflix documentary maker working on your newest project to inform and educate millions of people. Look at the people in the footage you’re shooting as if you’ve never met them and listen to their story as if you’ve never heard it before.

We tend to label everything we see and hear because it is our way of ordering our environment. It is a very human way to stick an emotional label to everything because it helps us cope with situations. We need to because we want to survive as long as possible. We need to know what is dangerous or stupid. But the thing is that the emotional label also stops us from experiencing life fully. We ward off the experience.

So, the next time you talk to people who usually upset you, do it differently. I want you to see them and listen to them without any prejudice. Really listen to them.

Reflect

Now that you’ve gotten all the footage for your Netflix documentary, you go home and upload it to your computer to look at it. You see the stories and interviews on your screen. Now it’s time to reflect on it. Ask yourself how the footage makes you feel. Does it make you feel angry, scared, insecure?

Once you know how it makes you feel, then reflect on the reaction it brings up in your body. What do you want to do? Call them and tell them how wrong they are? Spit in their face? Sue them? Hit them? Embrace them? Love them? Solace them? Do you want to walk away, flee? Not to ever talk to them ever again?

Notice where in your body you can feel it.

Intend

What often happens is that you bite down on the issues in your life. You bite so hard that it becomes an obsession. Your husband is an asshole, your boss is a moron, and your neighbor is an idiot. You think so much about what they do and say that you can’t release yourself from this bond anymore. All you can do is see what you don’t have instead of what you do have. It all sucks, right?

Now, force yourself to look at the situation from the most favorable point of view and ask yourself that if everything was great, how would your situation be? Would you have a loving relationship with your husband, who would be super supportive of you? Would you have a great boss who would help you grow in your career and give you a promotion (what job would he give you?) And how would it be if you could chat over the hedge with your neighbor and invite them over for a drink to discuss in an open way how you’d connect your gardens to make a big park in which you’d work together to make it awesome?

One million dollar question

The one million dollar question that needs to follow these daydreams is, “how do these daydreams make you feel?” Create affirmations out of these feelings. Notice that these affirmations focus on feelings, not on what you do or have.

• I am so happy and feel so loved by my husband. He supports me in my endeavors to become a great […]. It makes me feel so proud of myself now that I’ve published my first children’s book and writing my second one. Writing is what I love doing.
• I feel so proud of how my career is progressing now that I’m working with […]. I feel excited about the promotion he has given me to become […] to develop myself toward becoming a […], I feel secure because he believes in me, and it helps me trust myself.
• I had such a fun day with […]. We decided to remove the hedge between our properties to create this beautiful park behind our homes. We trust each other fully and have so much fun choosing beautiful plants for our garden.

Repeat this every day, preferably out loud.

Redirect

Now that you know your preferred feelings imagine which actions would bring you closer to these feelings. If you’d be the person in that affirmation, what would do? Biting down on old behavior or habits would not create a better future; it needs different actions. It is vital to do things differently now. Make this a conscious and, if needed, courageous action. If you keep on responding from pain, you will not change your situation.

 

Closing

You only manage the change process by being very conscious of what is happening and steer toward what you want. I know how difficult it can be. That is why I am here to help you with one of my readings:

• With one of my tarot readings, I can zoom into your current situation and advise on what to do or not do.
• With my akashic records readings, I can zoom in on who you are at origination, your purpose, and the blocks and restrictions you have to keep you from living a soul-aligned life.

If you have questions or want to discuss something with me, please send me a message through my contact page.

Are you a hard-working woman who regularly feels stressed, overworked, or exhausted and struggle with an inner critic that just-doesn’t-shut-up? Do you have a to-do list as long as your arm and feel as if you’re always behind? I bet it isn’t about the goal you chose or how you broke up that goal into small tasks that it makes your to-do list as long as that.

I know: balancing your life and living your purpose is more difficult than you always thought. What I notice is that (mostly) women give themselves too little room to rise above themselves. I mean, it is much easier to do things for others first instead of for yourself! I know, it feels as if you have no choice at all. Most things pop up and need to be taken care of – and who else but you need to do it? And if this takes away precious time for self-care, then so be it. Self-care is easily ignored when it comes to making choices.

Important advice

But did you know that women who are successful in both their career and in their private life have elevated self-care to a form of art? They give themselves time and space to achieve that great performance.

But you already know this. I’m not telling you anything new. This is also what you tell your friends how you should do this or should do that. And there you are, always ready to listen, to give a hug or come up with brilliant advice. I mean, you really know how to give advice. Nothing wrong with that!

But do you follow your own advice? Or are you sitting on the couch in the evening feeling shitty because you’re too tired and totally overwhelmed?

Why do you put up with this?

I bet you know very well what you need. The only thing is that you don’t do it. Instead, you sit there and mentally attack yourself in an unparalleled way. Take a moment to listen carefully to what you tell yourself.

I am talking about that inner critic who is jabbering and won’t shut up? And you keep listening to it. You have so many opinions about yourself, and it just doesn’t stop.

• What tone do you use to talk to yourself?
• What kind of words do you use over and over?
• Do you sound angry, annoyed, disappointed, critical?
• How do you judge yourself? Do you call yourself lazy, stupid, ugly, or slow?

Write it all down to see it with your own eyes. Would you also talk to your friend like that? To your neighbor? Would you allow it when your coach or therapist would talk to you like this? No? Then why do you put up with it?

There is work to be done for your inner critic

Sit your inner critic in the corner of the couch, put their bunny slippers on and give them a blanky. Tell them that it is okay, and it is time to rest. Be nice, if only you can do it once a week. Lower those expectations and stop hurting yourself.

Stop shoulding yourself around. There is nothing you should do or must do, or need to do. Not a thing.

If you were your friend, what advice would you have? Just stop it – that’s what you’d say. Don’t make it more difficult than it already is because, between you and me and the Fairy Godmother, we are all tired and overwhelmed sometimes.

Set some boundaries and tell people who are too vocal about what you should do for them to bugger off. Okay, maybe not to say it like to your boss, but there are polite ways to say it as long as you don’t connect any emotional labels to the conversation. If you bring it like a statement, then it is what it is. But most people have excellent ears for guilt trips that you’re not even talking about but still emit from all the pores in your body.

Stop your inner critic from monkey-ing your around

Especially notice guilt words, like “should” when you talk about yourself. Most dominant people pick up on words like this and use it for their own good. They will do this because they’re upset with you for setting boundaries or telling them that you’re giving back a certain responsibility you took upon yourself while it was theirs.

In Dutch, we have an expression that comes down to “leave the monkey where it belongs” – is it your monkey, or is it theirs? Well, it often is truly their monkey, so it isn’t even your responsibility.

Drop the fight

Ask your inner critic to drop the fight. You may notice that it may be unwilling to do so at first, but when you move deeper and connect to how it feels, your inner critic will be just so tired or so overwhelmed that you’ll instantly feel that it needs help instead of a battle.

It’s not worth it to listen to things that are not true. No matter how much you put on your to-do list, you don’t become a better person. You become a better person when you give yourself some slack and decide to drop the fight off the constant inner critic discussion you have to listen to day in day out.

If there is some truth in what this inner critic has to say, then how can you make things easy for yourself? We already know that nothing good comes from listening to down talk all the time. Good things come from wholehearted encouragement, setting intentions that are easy to do and still create a good feeling, and to be realistic about what is possible and what not.  I mean: successful businesses are not built in six months, no matter what that program-selling dodo is trying to sell you.

Too much

I see so many women who try to build a booming business while they have four kids at home that they’re trying to home school, have a clean house, be a flawless partner and a successful entrepreneur.

It is okay to stop everything and to eat easy meals for a week because you’re overwhelmed. Your kids will live; your partner will stop commenting on your meal choices, and if not, let them do it. Before you know it, there will be a pizza delivery at your door. I’ll bet you 10 dollars for it.

So if you are willing to listen to a crying friend who pours her heart out about how hard her life is: her relationship, the children, her work, parents, you name it, what are you telling her? That she should stop whining and keep going? Not really … So why do you say this to yourself?

My personal story about the inner critic

I have the aspect of failing strongly built into my Divine Soul Blueprint. This resulted in a life-long struggle with fear of failure and made me very insecure about my own talents. Failing caused me to underperform in school and the first two decades of my career. I was so afraid I couldn’t perform at the right moment that I literally manifested it. It was so strong that people even labeled me as someone who could only fail. That inner voice that told me that whatever I did, wasn’t good enough developed pretty strongly because of that.

A breakthrough came when a coach, whom I contacted because of my fear of visibility, told me: “But if marketing is such a struggle for you, then why do you do it? What if you allow yourself to stop doing it and see what happens?” I was mortified. Was she suggesting I’d give up? No, f’ing way!

Two sides to it

So on one side, I was super scared to fail and to create stuff that didn’t meet my standards (which were, of course, way too high), and on the other side, I wasn’t allowed to quit. How about being stuck in the twilight zone of reliving your patterns over and over? I followed her advice and quit putting myself out there when my anxiety just rose too high. That’s where you guys lost me for a while. And you may again; I don’t know. I’ve accepted that I’m just an anxious person.

But the allowance to quit kept lingering in my mind, and I wondered why I replied with so much anxiety to visibility issues. And then it came to me. I was creating things there weren’t aligned with who I am – trying to “sell” things that I had left behind me because I grew over it. I needed to allow myself to change the subject of what I’m writing about. When I saw that, I knew I had to come out with my new spiritual concept. It took me a year to not only study it, but I also had to get over another discussion with my inner critic, who told me you’d find me a weirdo who’d now really lost it. But it still felt good and slowly but surely I got used to the idea that I might actually have something to say about living a soul-aligned life. So, there you go. Another weirdo blog post was written. I hope you liked it. 😉

CLOSING

In my dealings with my inner critic, I’ve noticed that the moment I understood who I really am as a soul by reading my Divine Soul Blueprint in an Akashic Records Reading, it became so much easier to decide what was right for me or not. Suddenly I knew it if things were aligned with who I am or not! It was such a relief but also such an insight into how easy this really was.

If you want to know more about the Akashic Records Readings I do as a Soul Realignment Practitioner, click here.

At the end of last year, when I was contemplating my intentions for 2020, I thought about how weight and diet had always been part of my life. In my ever-lasting search for weight loss truth, I even studied to become a weight loss coach. But the quest no longer interests me.

I tried to be someone like that, but it wasn’t me and it did not create a better life. I believe I mixed up my weight struggle with being a weight loss coach and when I lost quite a lot of money, I hoped to share that solution with others as well. So I studied and changed careers, only to find that it didn’t bring me what I wanted and needed.

What is the most important? It was pretty mind-blowing what was going on in my head because my True Self answered that question right away. Deep down I want an effortless life and to be happy. As I do not believe in sitting around feeling effortless, I thought about what might make it joyful. So I decided to make a list of a hundred things that made me happy. Just simple things, with a couple of hard things in between.

The meaning of the list is not to be finished by the end of the year. That would make it work. The list is a source of joy for when I need it or want to fill my life with some additional meaningful experiences. It took some time to make it, but I think I have some fun and joyful things on it and I look forward to taking on the challenge.

Over the coming months, I will bookend (report) about things I’ve done in separate blogs and strike them off my list. Some items will be a one time experience, and others may grow into habits. Let’s see where it will take me.

My 100 list

1. Make a list of 100 things that make me happy and blog about them
2. Declutter the attic
3. Declutter the garage
4. Buy a new house (and sell the old one)
5. Set monthly intentions and evaluate them
6. Pull a monthly card as part of the month’s intention
7. Go to my friend Karen in the United States (scheduled for June 2020)
8. Attend a workshop by Abraham-Hicks (scheduled for May 2020)
9. Go sailing with Anton
10. Visit the market in Groningen
11. Visit the market in Leeuwarden
12. Visit the Hortus Botanicus in Haren
13. Create the effortless life food plan
14. Go on a boating picnic
15. Go shopping in Zwolle
16. Visit a hammam
17. Visit a new beach
18. Visit a national park
19. Add two extra levels of Swedish in Duolingo
20. Bake a cake
21. Eat a vegan meal
22. Bake a sourdough bread
23. Go to the movies with Anton
24. Go to a wine tasting at AB’s shop
25. Have a high tea
26. Cook a meal for friends
27. Grow tomatoes
28. Declutter my computer
29. Declutter my email program
30. Meditate every day
31. Draw a daily tarot card
32. Do a self-love tarot experience
33. Eat a healthy meal every day
34. Plan my meals every day and bookend them with my buddy
35. Go plogging (Google it!)
36. Study astrology
37. Do a full tarot reading every month
38. Meditate for an hour
39. Meditate for three hours
40. Learn watercolor techniques
41. Send someone who needs it a letter
42. Send birthday cards
43. Do an online course
44. Do a jigsaw puzzle
45. Do a full no-spend week
46. Find a new podcast and binge-listen
47. Bake a beer bread
48. Declutter DVD’s and CD’s
49. Do a maintenance walk-around before the house goes on sale
50. Go for a hike with marrekrite.nl
51. Declutter the websites
52. Create a time-capsule
53. Scan old photos and create a photo book
54. Do the MyHeritage DNA test
55. Go geocaching with geocaching.com
56. Take a nap
57. Have facial
58. Donate three appliances I no longer use
59. Research the family tree and find a cool detail
60. Finish a difficult sudoku
61. Finish my book
62. Read a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel
63. Watch an Oscar-winning movie
64. Binge-watch a new (to me) Netflix series
65. Write a letter to my future grandchildren
66. Go to a sauna
67. Play the piano
68. Clean out my closet
69. Donate stuff to charity
70. Reread three books I’ve stored in the attic before I donate them
71. Go on a weekend cycle trip
72. Create healthy-er icecream
73. Make cider
74. Go for ten early morning swims
75. Buy veggies at a farm
76. Organize a barbecue party
77. Plant something that we can eat from each year
78. Make iced coffee on a hot day
79. Create a meal in an Instapot or Slowcooker (don’t have one)
80. Knit a thick blanket for cold evenings
81. Attend a PV meeting
82. Drink 2 liters of water every day
83. Replant the Swiss Cheese plant (Philodendron Monstera) in one bigger pot
84. Make a Christmas wreath
85. Attend a Brussen Day
86. Organize a Brussen Day
87. Take new headshots
88. Republish the tarot book (maybe in another form)
89. Whiten my teeth
90. Do a weekly evaluation
91. Plan dinners for the whole week and get groceries
92. Go canoeing very early when at the houseboat
93. Write a fictional story
94. Sleep in a weird B&B
95. Donate blood
96. Buy something cool from Etsy
97. Connect with my spirituality

 

It is funny to see how I have seriously up-leveled my life already by deciding that happiness is more important than a goal weight. Since I made this list at the beginning of January, some things can now be stricken off because they do not feel right anymore. Activities like fast for a whole day are not conducive to what is right for me since I’ve concluded that an action like that comes from a diet mindset. Since I now have a happiness mindset, I’ve replaced it with Buy something really cool from Etsy.

Photo by Olenka Sergienko

Discipline, don’t you also hate that word? For me it means that I have to hustle every day, doing only sensible things and work my fingers to the bone. While I write this, I notice a whiny voice somewhere in the back of my mind that tells me: “I don’t wanna be disciplined.”

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Dear Food Addiction,

At a very early age, you taught me you were always there for me. While I did not know what that meant, I later learned that you were there a few steps away. The moment I started to eat, I’d feel tension subside, and I would sink into a state in which I did not feel much anymore.

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