In this series of blogs, I share techniques and examples of Tarot Readings to help you develop as a reader. I also share channelings I do to help you align more easily to a purposeful life.

Tarot Reading: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Last week, I fell into the bottomless pit of seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also known as winter depression. With almost two years into covid-19, a firm lack of sunshine, and hardly seeing real people, the firm ground on which I usually stand slowly disappeared from under my feet. I didn’t even notice it.

Looking back, I fall into the same pit every year, after the holidays are over. This year was no exception. I tried to keep myself busy, but suddenly I could not hide from the truth anymore.

Covid sucks. Winter sucks. Loneliness sucks. It all sucks. Big time. This week, I admitted that I felt lonely and depressed and was far from doing well. I even had a major meltdown and cried until I fell asleep, only to cry again when I opened my eyes early the following day.

I struggle with the loneliness that this awful lockdown brings, and I pray that the government will lift the bans quickly because I need like-minded people around me. My workdays are spent at my desk at home, talking to people through Teams, hammering away on my laptop. Luckily the computer is in front of the window, or I wouldn’t even see people all day. My husband leaves at around 7 am and comes back around 5.30 pm. What is different for him is that he has an “essential shop” to still talk to customers or employees.

My Work In Progress

I keep myself busy on my days off – rewriting and translating my tarot book. I’ve just finished the first, second, third, fourth draft. I removed unnecessary exercises, and added chapters, and invented new exercises. It is an excellent book for beginners and people who want to read intuitively. If there is one thing that shines brightly under the grey clouds of seasonal affective disorder, then that’s it. I love my book, and I feel so good about writing about tarot that I am sure more will follow.

But, I digress from the feeling that urged me to write this blog. I know I am not the only one who struggles with seasonal affective disorder. That is why I have created a tarot spread to understand the dark feelings we’re going through and find out how to conquer them courageously.

seasonal affective disorder tarot

Tarot Spread on Seasonal Affective Disease

  1. Where this feeling of SAD comes from
  2. The spark inside that helps me to overcome SAD
  3. What I need to build to prevent future SAD
  4. How to release the current symptoms
  5. How I can improve my self-care
  6. How to connect with myself better

Where this feeling comes from – Prince of Pentacles

seasonal affective disorder tarot

While the real cause of the seasonal affective disease is unknown, many people notice the symptoms of low mood, loss of pleasure, guilt, and despair play up when there is less sunlight. The leading theory is that it has to do with a lack of serotonin which causes melatonin to become more dominant. As a result, your body’s internal clock gets disrupted, and you feel as if you haven’t slept for ages which makes you cranky and moody.

Related: read more information on SAD

The lack of sunlight is even shown on this card. The sky is dark, and there’s only sunlight just above the horizon. Other than that, it is dark. Maybe that is why this Knight stands still on his horse and protects himself with his shield. I mean, it is hard to look around you in the dark.

For me, this shield stands for the lockdown we’ve been in since a week before Christmas. At first, I felt fine. I was busy finishing my work, but I started to slide after the holidays. I could not go anywhere, and all my fun and much-needed quality time appointments were canceled because of the lockdown. I wondered why I had planned this week off halfway through the week. I felt a bit wasteful to spend all those days doing nothing. On the other hand, after just about two months in my new job, I needed a bit of me-time.

This Prince is not the fastest moving Knight. Compared with the other knights, this one isn’t showing himself. I get the feeling as if he’s afraid of something, but the source of his anxiety isn’t visible.

When I project this toward myself, I feel like this Prince. I hide behind my shield as well, safely inside my home, and I often feel anxious. This is probably something I used to binge over, but now that I don’t do that anymore, I am more aware of it being prevalent.

The spark inside that helps me to overcome this feeling – Seven of Cups

seasonal affective disorder tarot

When you have a seasonal affective disorder, you slowly slide into a dark pit, which causes you not to see your solutions anymore, especially not the simple, obvious ones. This card shows me that I have a lot of solutions, but they also cause a bit of choice stress.

When you’re not feeling optimal, you can overlook the best opportunity, even when it is standing next to you. In a way, this card looks like the Four of Cups in the RWS deck where the person doesn’t see that one cup standing up while three have fallen over.

But when you don’t see any options on the surface, it is essential to look for options on a soul level. Ask yourself a question: “If this is not how I want to feel, how DO I want to feel instead? If my options are not what I want, which options DO I want?” Then visualize your next reality of what is more agreeable.

But it all starts with accepting where I am. This approach seems to be something I easily forget.

I am starting to see why I chose acceptance as my word of the year. At first, I wanted to go with Fresh because I longed so much for the Spring and make a new start. But acceptance is what I need to learn. Only through acceptance can I heal.

What I need to build to prevent future loneliness – King of Wands

seasonal affective disorder tarot

The King of Wands is the King of Inspiration and Energy. He can react rashly, but he also enforces leadership.

This card signifies that we need to build our desired reality proactively to prevent future seasonal affective disorder. It was not the first year I got hit by these feelings. I’ve had it for at least twenty years. But because of the pandemic, the feelings came earlier, and I wasn’t prepared.

It created a reactive attitude in me, and I easily isolated myself. This causes me to feel even worse because being around people is so important. For me, the ED also affected it, as did my anxiety. As I say: I’m pretty complicated 😉

Even though I don’t feel well, it still surprises me that it hasn’t been a reason to binge. The therapy worked well. Binging has ceased to be helpful, but as a result, I now feel more anxious and lonely. I will discuss it with my therapist in my upcoming evaluation session. The only thing is that I’m not sure how long I should wait to call.

I want to sit it out, but that may also be part of my habit of isolating myself and doing it myself. On the other hand, I want to see if I can help myself without relapsing into binge eating.

This may sound counterproductive to what this card signifies, but I am convinced that there must be an inspiration in this pool of greyness that I can use for myself and (in time) for others. I have found earlier that great desires come from inspiration and are input for what I want to manifest.

I’ll use my journal, daily and weekly evaluation, and card readings to keep an eye on it. I have also created this tool in Excel for daily evaluation to see when enough is enough and to ask for help with this. I don’t have to do this alone.

How to release the current greyness – Magician (1)

seasonal affective disorder tarot

With the Magician, daylight returns, and better days are ahead of me. Early daylight is on the horizon, and the rooster tells us this is a new day with lots of new opportunities. On the stone in front of him, there is a pentacle, a sword, and a cup. He holds the wand in his hand. It tells me that I have all tools available. As I said above, it starts with accepting the here and now.

I notice my desires and what I want in the here and now. I need to focus on my wants instead of what I don’t want. It is too easy to only focus on what I don’t want, but according to my personal Manifesting Blueprint, I need to focus on the first instead of the latter.



How I can improve my self-care – King of Swords

seasonal affective disorder tarot

Here we have Mr. Kick-in-the-ass himself. At least, that’s how this card feels for me, and it immediately shows me what is needed. I sometimes need a firm kick-in-the-ass so now and then. Especially with SAD, it is hard to stay on top of what is good for me, and I slowly spiral down. Because of that, I sometimes do not notice what is going on. One day I feel pretty good, and I am productive, and a week later, I’m down in the dumps. It shows me that I’m not very aware of what is going on.

This realization helped me see that I needed to evaluate my energetic state. I will evaluate on Sundays together with my other weekly evaluation. Hopefully, I will notice some patterns that will help me improve my current situation.



How to connect with myself better – Six of Cups

seasonal affective disorder tarot

This card is so interesting! Lately, I have come across the word joy so often. Whether it is in one of the groups I’m in on Facebook or cards that come up during the week, it all seems to revolve around creating joy.

This week, I pulled the Three of Cups at some point, and it signified for me that it is not only celebrating the things that go well in your life, but when I wrote in my journal about this card, I noticed that it is more than that. It is about wanting to see the good things and to do things for the fun of it or because they create joy.

So often, I have done things triggered by coping strategies. They were always unauthentic. But when you choose to take an authentic route, things become so different. In my case, I had to leave the past behind and start over to allow my inner child to experience joy. Joy is more than celebrating; it is an inner void you want to fill with contentment, “good enough,” and “just fun” without an ulterior motive. Not everything has to have a higher goal or a goal at all. You can do things just for fun, notice a bird sing a song outside, have a cup of coffee with your face in the sun, listen to a beautiful song (Voila, sung by Julia Kuiper at the Blind Auditions of Voice of Holland 2022, chills!!!)

It all comes down to that I am okay even with seasonal affective disorder. Nothing terrible will happen when I’m a bit down, but I need to consider when to ask for help. The good thing that comes from it is that I will appreciate my good days even more.

Need help with this reading?

If you also suffer from seasonal affective disorder and want your personal reading done on the subject, contact me. I offer tarot readings or help you interpret your cards when you struggle with reading them. Contact me to find out more.

What is keeping you from moving forward?

If you come across this card reading with the 7 Energies Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid by coincidence, then know that there’s no coincidence. At least, that’s my opinion. If you’re interested in my view on finding things online or on your timeline, you can read about it here. You may have been looking for an answer on moving forward from a difficult situation. If so, this reading is for you.

The 7 Energies Oracle Deck is based on the 7 energies connected to the chakras. There are seven sets of cards with each group starting with the color red of the root chakra and ending with the color golden-white of the crown chakra. The idea is that when you align all seven energies, you can connect to your divine soul blueprint. Between you and who you are at origination, there can be certain blocks and restrictions that keep you from living your divine life. Working through those blocks and restrictions will create an increasingly better spiritual alignment.

The reading

When I started this reading, I didn’t have my card deck available, but I knew Colette Baron-Reid has an option on her website where you can draw single cards.

In comparison to other readers, I am super earthy, so I decided to draw a card and then repeat the same action by refreshing the screen. The only thing I decided upfront was that if I’d get the same card twice, I’d draw again. But that didn’t happen.

So I chose a question from Joanna’s list of really great questions and drew the cards. Life can be pretty simple when you remove the woo-woo from your reading. I trust that the Universe will provide us with the right questions, the proper layout, and the right cards when we need them. Doing readings for yourself is based on the same thing: trust.

The question I’m working on for you this week is “What is keeping you from moving forward?” and I believe that if you see this blog, it’s meant for you.

Spread and cards

  1. The Situation – Sacred Reverence (47)
  2. What’s keeping you – Beautiful Uncaging (14)
  3. A possible solution – Ears wide open (33)

The situation – Sacred Reverence (47)

Living a human life is the challenge we’re all in. This dimension can be slow and difficult. While we don’t choose the circumstances, we do choose to experience the feelings and limitations that come with it. Knowing who I really am, I see feelings of lack of power and difficulty to express myself authentically as a thread through my life. Somehow, the life I chose to “land” in seemed like a perfect opportunity to experience the opposite of who I really am.

Let’s suppose you’re in a situation in which you feel stuck. As humans, we want to escape our situation as soon as possible, but would that really serve us? Feeling that duality is what we’re here for because from far removed experience, we know how living our divinity can be. We can have all we are, but the situation we now live in shows us that there’s something to dig through to reach that divine feeling.

Even though it sounds peculiar, we’ve chosen to feel this duality. Knowing this, it may not serve us to flee the uncomfortable feelings. We can flee in apps on our phone, work, booze, or food (or whatever you use to ignore uncomfortable feelings). Still, in the end, we’re fulfilling our cause by experiencing this duality.

While I write this, I am aware that this may sound weird. Still, the more I look at this from a higher perspective, the more I feel this duality could be precisely what we’ve come to experience here. It is because we, deep down, also know that when we go home again, we can live our true selves again out of duality. Experiencing our current situation is, in fact, a beautifully concocted situation. Our project of coming here has succeeded. Let’s not try to escape the discomfort right away.

47 = 4 + 7 = 11 = spirituality, master number, “as above”, divinity.

But try to see yourself as a magical being again, like you were always. Looking at your situation from a higher perspective connects you to deep witnessing your higher purpose. Ask yourself: ‘What if the manifestation of my experience is perfect right now? What if this is exactly what I intended?’

Let’s try not to make the discomfort you’re in a masochistic pleasure, but just feel how it makes you feel instead of ignoring the fact that you wanted to experience this. Stop to smell the dung and try to pull your boots from the sucking mud. If it is hard, then that’s okay.

Stay in this experience for a while and really live it. Name the feeling and stay there. Don’t try to take action right away by setting new intentions right away – they will come in time.

It serves you to really feel the suckiness for a while. Suckiness is sacred. Feel in awe of what you’ve created. For me, really diving in powerlessness sucks big time. It makes me sad and angry, but I also notice how I have all kinds of coping mechanisms to stop me from feeling this horse shit. Going through it (with you) can be the perfect manifestation that, in time, brings us into a new and better experience. But to find what we truly want (and need), we first need to pull our boots from the smelly experience, which can be done with sacred reverence.

All this crap has a reason, and you’ll soon know how to change your life for the better and start manifesting opportunities to move forward.

moving forward PI

2. What’s keeping you – Beautiful Uncaging (14)

Not living up to your fullest potential can create a lot of guilty feelings. This is probably not something you’ll understand consciously because your fullest potential is often something people are not fully aware of. Not living up to what you really are creates a nagging feeling of not feeling fulfilled, but what they really seek is also not fully clear. The problem with this is that it all plays out on a more profound level. You can’t grab what it is that’s bothering you.

Many people hide their feelings of unease by drinking, eating, and smoking too much. It’s easier than diving into those feelings or talking to people and asking uncomfortable questions. But it is the only way to get out of the feeling of underperformance.

Guilt is a very complex emotion. It is a highly uncomfortable feeling, whether or not you know consciously what’s going on. And it can get you out of a self-destructive cycle, but it can also keep you there through self-sabotage. It can keep you circling in the same cycle, or it can become a force that is the starting point of walking away from what you’re feeling. Still, it can also become a check to stop the flight behavior because you realize that you’re not going anywhere with this hiding.

14 = 1 + 4 = 5 = curiosity, personal freedom, and adventure

But it is time to become brutally honest with yourself. What you’re doing is not helpful. But sometimes, the feeling is misplaced because it’s not your ‘fault’ that you’re responding this way. Sometimes you feel guilty for things other people do or have done. In that case, it is not your burden to carry.

And sometimes it is your responsibility to change your situation. That’s where honesty comes in. By taking responsibility for your current situation and forgiving yourself for what you’re doing, you can choose a new adventurous direction. All this is needed to respect yourself again and to move on.

moving forward card reading

3. A possible solution – Ears wide open (33)

I already mentioned with the last card that it’s time to become brutally honest. The solution these beautiful cards suggest is to open your ears and listen. There are many levels of listening.

First, you can listen to your distorted way of self-talk, which is often unhelpful to change your situation. It keeps you in the same cycle of destructive behavior. But you can also listen deeply to other people. If they don’t do this by themselves, encourage them to tell you how they feel.

This may be scary because opening your ears for their truth also means that you find out what they really feel about the situation. If things are said in love, then it’s okay. It means that you now know how they feel and keep their feelings in the game.

Make sure that you don’t overexplain in the hope that you’ll receive an acknowledgment. This comes from feeling misunderstood or not heard or seen. Overexplaining will not result in fulfilling that need, per sé.

While an explanation is excellent, it shouldn’t be done to pull the wool over the eyes so that they will feel sorry for how hard your life has been. Explain how you came to what you did or what happened and leave the opinion to them. You can’t force them to acknowledge you.

33 =3 + 3 = 6 = master number, honesty, compassion, courage, family, love, and responsibility

Stop hiding by doing as if you’re listening, but pretend to listen while you pay more attention to your phone, your ‘addictions,’ or letting words in one ear and out the other. Listen with full attention and make a heart connection.

The third level of listening is listening to your Higher Self, where you let yourself be guided to do the right thing. Your Higher Self knows exactly what is best for you. The voice inside will soothe you when you’re sad and encourage you when you’re ready to take new steps. Sometimes all you need is knowing that you can do it. But it all starts with allowing information in.

Listen, really listen to what is being said. If you notice that it triggers you, then refrain from commenting but listen some more. Ask the other to elaborate on specific triggering terms. Before you notice, there will be a deep connection – precisely what you craved. It’s what I’ve noticed myself. It is super scary shizz but so valuable.


If you’re interested in receiving a video-recorded tarot card reading from me, please book it here. If you’re interested in my other reading services, then please check out the other ones here.

Witches Wisdom Oracle Reading

I’ve wanted to do more blogs to share card readings based on general questions for a while. I believe that providing readings through this blog is helpful for anyone who stumbles over them in their search for answers. No better way to get answers than Google, right? Read more

When life feels like an initiation

Even though I’m in a tremendous creative period of my life, I noticed that this week my creativity went a bit dry. For some reason, it felt as if I didn’t have a lot to write about for the first time in a long time. And still, it didn’t feel bad or something. It felt more like an initiation while I longed for new inspiration.

When I sat with it, I understood that I had more pressing things to work on this week than writing a business blog. I decided to give you an update on what happens in my life right now.

I’m nearing the end of a phase. That often goes with the feeling as if I’m losing speed and my energy gets squeezed. I noticed it early enough to observe the initiation process and take action. It’s good to see that I’m listening to the signs and opt-in for change. I’m happy about it because I’ve also been in similar situations and responded too late to have room for change.

The situation

I spend my time between a small part-time job and this business. It’s about 50/50. I’m taking my time to build the business because I can. I feel no pressure, and I have no problem with taking my time.

The last time I went solo, I did it out of frustration with my then job. Starting a business because you feel you have to make the jump is no way to start a business. I ended up with much anxiety about replacing my paycheck. I learned a lot from that: I’m allowed to take my time (if I ever want to).

For some reason, there’s this energy in ‘entrepreneur land’ that tells us that we need to be without a job as soon as possible, and I don’t share that opinion. We need to feel safe starting a business. Having no money to pay your bills is a shitty way to be an entrepreneur.

In the last couple of months, I noticed how I was nearing the end of my current job, and I started to look for a new one. I interviewed this week, and I came out unanimously as the favorite candidate with an option B. All that was between me and a new job was an assessment, which I knew I’d ace. No problem. I know what I’m capable of, and I’m pretty ‘smaht.’

And still, it didn’t feel good. In fact, it felt like a big fat no-no-no-no. It was the first time that I noticed how my intuition is changing. As a mental and spiritual intuitive, I always have *known* what was suitable for me. This time, nothing came through. While I usually know pretty clearly if it is a yes or a no, there was only doubt this time.

The channel echoed in silence, but what did work was a fear on all levels – nauseating fear. It was weird because I had excellent conversations with those energies. And still, it didn’t feel good.

I thought it was strange how a job can look so wonderful and then later turn into the opposite. So I asked for 12 hours of decision time and to call back with my decision the following day, but they pushed me to get a decision out of me right then and there. So I decided against it. The maybe became a no – and not just a no: it became a big fat no-no-no-no.

inititation oracle reading

The end of a phase

When you near the end of a phase, you’re being invited to go through an initiation. It’s like a sweat lodge ceremony. You sit in complete darkness, sweating away your old beliefs and habits. Even how hot it can be in a sweat lodge, you’re being invited to sit it out. You’re confronted with old stuff that needs to find its way out through your pores before you can move into the light.

It was only recently

The memory of the whole process is a bit raw still. I felt a bit disappointed that the new job wasn’t what I hoped it would be. I’m also proud that I wasn’t that desperate that I felt forced to reach for the emergency exit in my old job (even though it felt like that a couple of months ago). I now feel I still have the time to find the best solution for myself. I still have time to sweat it out and come out reborn.

A process like this, where you feel squeezed, is like being pushed through a keyhole. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to get through this tiny hole into the next room. It’s almost like a birthing experience. Looking back, I may have plopped through the keyhole because I now feel calm, while it felt pretty traumatic that day when I felt pushed to make a decision.

Sacred time

When you think about it, this is a sacred time, where I am allowed to listen to ancient wisdom – wisdom that I found in my akashic record to create a more aligned life. The new job would not have been aligned.

By deciding that this wasn’t the right thing, I can move toward the exit with grace because I saw that I had applied to the wrong sort of job. I’m ready for other things (as others have been trying to convince me of).

initiation oracle reading

Setting intentions from this initiation

In my desire to build this business, I need to surround myself with the same people I want to work with. Okay, so I can’t expect my new employer to do akashic records readings as well, but hey, never say never! What if that would be possible? 😊

See that last sentence? What if this would be possible? It’s a sentence that I’ve been working with lately that brings me much fun in setting intentions. It gives me the highest energy of love to create what I want in life. And to work with that energy, it needs to be fun. Asking myself What If… always brings a smile to my face, and I believe that is incredible energy to work with when you set out a new direction. If a smile shows itself as part of this initiation ritual, then I’m okay with it.

Getting rid of old stuff

This initiation process is not something I have to do alone. I have the power of the Universe behind me, and I feel that the people who love me also feel I’m ready for bigger things. I needed that interview to see that it would be a step in the same place instead of stepping up toward my highest possible desire. With this desire, vital force energy flows with ease. After so much doubt, this is something I feel.

It takes a step with courage because it is new, but I don’t have to do this alone. I can ask for support and help from people I know. I don’t need an “I’ll do it alone” kind of energy. Been there, done that. It’s not the best creative energy one needs.

What I need is support from people who love me and want the best for me. That is the most significant creative energy I can step into.

It is my decision when to open the exit and to walk out. But when I do, I do it with grace and ease and leave with good memories instead of frustration.

It is done. It is done. It is done.

This blog came about with the help of…

This blog about an initiation ritual came about with the help of the cards from the Mystical Shaman Oracle Card Deck by Alberto Villoldo, Colette Baron-Reid, and Marella Lobos. Give the deck a bit of time to become a guide, but when once you get going, it’s a biggie!

If you’re interested in my akashic records readings, then check them out here. Do you want a card reading? You can book one here.

May Channeled Message: Let go of past attachment

While last month’s message was about self-sabotage and guilt, May’s message is to let go of past attachments. I find this a super helpful message to move out of April into May. I noticed that both I and others had a bit of a hard time this past month.

Let’s get ready for some new energy by letting go of the past and not looking back! What’s done is done, and now we move on Read more

7 steps to get through difficult times

A couple of weeks ago, I went through difficult times. Every time that happens, I find guidance by doing oracle readings. I want to share one of them because I downloaded 7 steps to get through them, all with a couple of cards from the Spirit Animal Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid.

I love pulling cards. Having transitioned from tarot cards to oracle cards not so long ago, I seem to start to like oracle cards more and more. For some reason, they feel simpler – something I’m looking for these days. Read more

April Channeled Message: Stop Self-Sabotage

Ever struggled with self-sabotage? Then the channeled message for April is for you. I planned to do a message every month and thought that would be my ticket to ultimate fame, but you know, March got in the way – and it’s been a bit of a blur. And now it’s the end of March. I mean, does that happen to you as well, that you have brilliant ideas that everybody will love you for, and then nothing happens? I sincerely hope so; please calm down my inner critic by leaving your thoughts in the comments. Read more

A message for a brand new January

First of all, happy brand New Year! I wish that the world will open up soon for you and yours and that your family’s and community’s health will be restored and prosper. I so long for giving big bear hugs to the people I love but need to keep at a distance. Hopefully, the vaccine will be distributed quickly to make this possible.

I’ve done a tarot card reading for all of us to see what to expect in January. Before I start that reading, I’d like to explain the 2021 tarot card: The Hierophant (5).

Read more

A channeled message not about weight loss

This blogpost is a channeled message not about weight loss. It came about when I woke up at 2 am thinking: you need to write it all down–you need to write it all down. Since I had no idea what I had to write down at 2 in the morning and I couldn’t sleep at that moment, I decided to get up and sit with my journal. That day, I had thought a lot about my past worries about my weight. At first, I thought it would have to do with that, that my soul wanted me to write about. I had chosen a new path to approach my health, but I still felt insecure about it. Would it be a good strategy? Would I need a more strict one? It felt wrong to fall back to the dieting mindset I had had before, and it didn’t bring me much freedom. Read more

The USA election prediction with tarot cards

On the 3rd of November, people in the USA get to choose their next President. As I’m always looking for ways how tarot cards (or oracle cards) can help me in my day to day life, I wondered if I could make a USA election prediction. find a way to predict the outcome of the […]