In this series of blogs, I share techniques and examples of Tarot Readings to help you develop as a reader. I also share channelings I do to help you align more easily to a purposeful life.

7 steps to get through difficult times

A couple of weeks ago, I went through difficult times. Every time that happens, I find guidance by doing oracle readings. I want to share one of them because I downloaded 7 steps to get through them, all with a couple of cards from the Spirit Animal Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid.

I love pulling cards. Having transitioned from tarot cards to oracle cards not so long ago, I seem to start to like oracle cards more and more. For some reason, they feel simpler – something I’m looking for these days.

I pulled Wolf Spirit, and this card tells me: Turn knowledge into Wisdom.

I guess that when you occasionally pull a card (or more often, as I do), you also have those moments in which you look at the card, and you already know what the advice will be. It only needs one peek, and you’re good. Luckily, I took some time to work on the card a bit more, and out came seven steps for you to work on when you are going through difficult times yourself.

7 steps to get through difficult times

Wolf Spirit From The Spirit Animal Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid

“Wolf Spirit leads you deep into the enchanted forest that holds the secrets to your life. Can you sense her beckoning you to follow, asking you to take all you have learned and all you are learning and make it yours? Can you integrate it all into your body, mind, and spirit?”

What the card showed me

This card showed me that I shouldn’t pretend to have an answer when I don’t. And if you don’t know how to solve it, it is time to ask for help. There’s no shame, no blame when you don’t know. It was a bit of a humbling moment to accept that I haven’t had an answer for a long time. But I tried to show that I had on by applying the same old ineffective strategy over and over – a strategy that worked for others but not for me.

The card was a sign of stopping the fighting and acknowledge that it’s time to wheel in someone with an answer. Let it happen. Hanging on to fighting is a bit of a pattern for me. You read about it in many blogs on this website: here, here, and here.

In this process, I’m learning valuable lessons.

7 steps to get through difficult times

1.    Be patient

Being patient with myself is a big lesson for me to learn. Not having an answer to a problem or question is quite terrifying for me. I already found that out in school when, for some reason, I’d experience extreme shame not to know an answer. When I look at situations logically, I’d ask: “Isn’t that why you were there in the first place?” But apparently, some part of me didn’t agree.

I’ve written about this before, but I’m my worst prosecutor. At times I can be harsh with myself. Instead, I can trust to know the next step, the next, and the next. I don’t have to see the result yet, only the next step. Asking for help was the first step; after this, it’s easier to make the next one. Hopefully.

2.   Don’t be afraid for what you fear

Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “What we fear of doing most is usually what we most need to do.” This is something I’ve also noticed a lot. The more resistant you are to what seems the most logical but hard to do is the thing you should do to solve the matter. The more yeah buts you have, the more you should do it.

The fear that keeps coming back, like asking for help, is a fear you’ve been dragging on behind you through several lives in a row. Anxiousness came about in my first akashic records reading I did. The fact that it comes again in this life is an invitation to address it. Of course, I’m free to skip the invitation. The question is if I want to address it again in the next life. 😉

For me, asking for help has been my life-long nemesis. It started in school, where I’d rather die than ask for extra help. But it has also made me resourceful. But my resourcefulness isn’t helping me anymore. I need new answers, which I don’t know yet. So I’ve asked for help. The hardest step has been taken. Phew!

Some fears go with us from life to life. It’s as if we can’t but also won’t leave it behind. It becomes familiar and part of who we are. At some point, the absence of the familiar becomes the fear – fear of the unknown. What if you’ll be eternally happy and you will resolve all your fears? What happens then? We have to face the unfamiliar because even though we fear it, it can’t be worse than it is now, right?

Don’t be afraid of what you fear; it’s only the answer to a problem you don’t have yet. Ask for help.

3.    Look at it from the bright side

Going through difficult times with your eyes open asks for a positive mindset. That’s not easy, given that there’s so much ‘not knowing’ going on. What’s been there for a while may take some time to correct itself. On the other hand, some people only need a light bulb moment to correct their course, and off they go again. While that’s also an option, I always think I’m the irreparable one that needs long and complex procedures to be fixed, if they might work at all. I guess I’m still scared that what I’ve chosen to start may not work at all. It’s a gamble, but it’s better than nothing.

Starting new journeys is always scary, but using Glennon Doyle’s words: “We can do hard things.”

4.   Listen to your demons (and your angels)

I’ve truly learned along the road that I have several parts in me that can get me in trouble. No, I’m not ‘hearing voices,’ but they are part of my Internal Family System. IFS is a form of psychotherapy that helps you listen to the core self and the separated silenced parts. There is a tremendous abundance to be found in those silenced parts.

There are super scared parts and angry, threatening parts that seem to protect the scared parts. Finding out that the angry parts were there to protect the other part made it super easy for me to accept that I consist of several parts, as they call it – and they all have their reason to be there, especially when I started to visualize them.

One was a well-muscled bodyguard to the small fox that hid from the big evil world, and another one was a big fat aunt type that wanted to seduce me with all her baked goods, telling me in her southern accent, “How can be something so good, be bad for ya, honey!” (she’s my saboteur). I have a whole happy family hanging around here.

It helped me a great deal to understand that I’m not just me, but the sum of all those parts. We bring a fun and vibrant show to Broadway, so now and then! But bringing them to life like that big fat aunty with her apron holding an iced pie in front of me, inviting me to eat it made them more relatable. IFS has helped me a lot through the years.

But sometimes, you need to listen to your demons, and there are also times to turn deaf ears on them when it is better to listen to your core self. That part of you always knows what to do and acknowledges all those parts that tell you that it’s dangerous to do the sensible thing (like asking for help). It’s funny how it works with decision-making. Once you know it, you can’t unknow it. And it also feels okay immediately.

5.   Accept the flaws

Self-acceptance is about seeing the spots and being okay with the flaws. What we often do is to look over all the parts that are beautiful, wise, and brilliant and smother them with a thick, dark blanket of critical, perfectionistic stories told by the darker parts inside. It’s a blanket that blocks all your life’s light. In short: we listen way too much to those loud screaming parts, while instead if we tweak our ears a little, we also hear those whispers of love and acceptance.

All parts need to be acknowledged, even when you don’t like them. Like the sweet aunty, she has an evil twin sister: Pissy Aunty. She doesn’t like the pies her sister bakes. On the contrary, she always talks about how bad I am for eating them. She wears a black dress with a stiff white collar around her neck, and her wrinkled face stares at me as if she’s about to put me in the naughty corner. I’m mean: hello! I’m grown up now. Can you lighten up a bit, please?

Pissy Aunty constantly nags about my weight, body, clothes, and ‘funny remarks’ –, everything I am, do, or have. It’s never good enough.

She’s there for a reason. She also protects the small, scared little fox inside. She pushes me to be and do perfectly. While she doesn’t mean to, she’s hurting that small fox.

Spirit Fox

Fox Spirit From The Spirit Animal Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid

By the way, I looked up the card of Fox Spirit, and it tells me that it has excellent traits: Fox is clever, alert, resilient, graceful, and astute. It can take quick action when the time is right. It can think outside of the box, see more ways than to solve an issue, and always clear about what you deserve. How cool is that? There’s more beauty in that little fox than I thought.

I guess there’s a lot of potential in that small animal.

6.   Notice what triggers you

The stories you have stored inside about what is true or not create a life that goes back several lives. Once you’ve healed a particular wound, you no longer have to create a life like that anymore. Some mental and emotional wounds have gotten infected and became permanent scars that still hurt.

It only needs a harmlessly meant remark by the next person to let your soul cringe with the memory it brings up. We tend to make those remarks personal, but they are just old ouchies that don’t define who you are.

While I used to think that I was too stupid to understand math, I’ve learned that you don’t have to “get” everything over the years. I don’t feel stupid anymore these days. My talents sat in the opposite corner, waiting for me to claim them. My intuition, sharp mind, and ability to communicate that information create freedom of choice. And that is important to me.

So, I struggle with other stuff. So, what? I’m not my ouchies.

7.    Ho’oponopono the f***out of it

When you start to see that it’s not the outside world that is to blame for what hurts, you also know it’s now your turn to start your next journey. It’s no longer a journey of finding the solution for your flaws but of healing your pain.

Being without pain doesn’t make you a better person. It just makes life more accessible, and that’s what we want. When we accept who we are, we see that we deserve to live a pain-free life and that it doesn’t make us smarter, friendlier, better, or more beautiful. So, we can stop looking for the solution that makes us that and forgive ourselves for the difficult time we’ve given ourselves. It wasn’t necessary, but we created it anyway. All we needed was such an assurance that all would be okay.

So, when you get stuck in that eternal loop of physical, mental, and/or emotional pain, forgive yourself:

I’m sorry
I love you
Please forgive me
Thank you.

Now you. Repeat it over and over. Talk to you soon.

April Channeled Message: Stop Self-Sabotage

Ever struggled with self-sabotage? Then the channeled message for April is for you. I planned to do a message every month and thought that would be my ticket to ultimate fame, but you know, March got in the way – and it’s been a bit of a blur. And now it’s the end of March. I mean, does that happen to you as well, that you have brilliant ideas that everybody will love you for, and then nothing happens? I sincerely hope so; please calm down my inner critic by leaving your thoughts in the comments.

To do this channeled message, I used several of the intuitive techniques I’ve developed over the years, all working together in a lovely symphony. No, I’m not going to explain how I do this because that would spoil my fame. Even though this channeled message is on a website focused on business owners, I believe it is for anyone who reads it.

April Message; Self-sabotage

General theme: Stop Self-Sabotage

The general theme is to stop self-sabotage and stop the guilt that comes out of it. Let’s say that this message is NOT for me. I don’t relate to it at all. Nope. None. All I hear on the inside is: “Ouch.”

Anyway. When you might relate to the theme just a tiny bit and want to end it, it’s essential to become aware of what’s not going the way you’d like. How are you using that ‘thing’ to hide your brilliance from coming out in the world?

Self-sabotage can play a significant role in your life, mainly because it can occur in such a sneaky way. How you recognize it is that all kinds of reprimands go through your mind, often in the form of what you ‘should’ do. You ‘should’ write email newsletters, but you don’t. You should make that sales call, but you don’t. You should eat healthily, but you don’t. And so on. There are so many ways in which we can have high expectations. One question you can ask is whether or not those expectations are realistic? Is writing that email newsletter really ‘your thing’? Or would it be better to pay for Facebook ads? Or does doing a YouTube video give you a better reach for your ideal client? Know what is your ‘thing.’

I often see business owners do things because ‘everybody does them.’ I’ve been there myself as well. It is a long and challenging journey to find out what is truly you and what is not. The guilt it creates can be so hard because you constantly think you’re always doing things wrong.

Where does guilt come up in your business or life? Where does it let you do things that you’d rather not do? And what happens when you don’t do what you should do? What feelings come up? Right! Guilt.

Guilt is a feeling that keeps you locked up in a cage made up of high expectations. Often it results in a cycle of self-sabotage that’s not funny anymore. You want to break through the behavior, but it’s so hard. The part of your brain that chooses safety over taking a risk seems to be more innovative every time.

To change it, you need to know which activities are genuinely authentic. When I struggled with it, I didn’t know what was genuinely authentic for me. I just repeated what other people were doing, and it didn’t work. It all became so complicated. But when I allowed myself to create a simpler life, things became more manageable. If doing some Facebook activity was complicated, I asked myself how I could make it easier. Sometimes, this meant not to do it, but I often allowed myself to do other things that I did like to do, like writing a blog. Choosing an easier, more authentic way was so much easier. It became easier because that harsh voice was silent when I chose easier things to do. What is your authentic way of expressing yourself?

It felt pretty freeing to tell my inner critic to shut up and let me do it my way. I don’t have to be like everyone else. I don’t want to be like everyone else. I believe that it is damaging to try to be like everyone else because I’m not on this planet to be that way. If this sounds right, then please tell me so in the comments.

What supports you – Deep Roots

What supports you this month is to grow deep roots to anchor yourself. Having these roots is essential to know what you can trust when guilt and doubt eat at your confident foundation. With deep and robust roots, you feel more secure, and you can nourish your beliefs.

With deep roots, you can trust your foundation, and you’ll know for sure that nothing can harm you because you are protected and safe on its foundation. This can become an issue when you doubt everything in and around you. But when you take a step back and look at where you are, you can see and know deep within that all is well and everything will be okay with you.

Know that you are safe and okay, even when you self-sabotage yourself is just right in its foundation. It is there for a reason. You’re doing the right things even when it looks as if you’re messing up. Don’t let your stories come in the way, and certainly leave that inner critic with its guilt trips at home. It will only eat at those deep roots.

Please take a look at your life and what you have built and developed and see that it is good. Maybe, when you look at its details, you see things that have possibilities for improvement. Know that if the intention is there, you’re halfway on your way to an abundant life. You are unstoppable if you let yourself be unstoppable. Let yourself take small steps forward and see that as being in motion.

Another aspect of growth is to believe that you are abundant. You see it everywhere: seeing is believing, but it all starts with having a deep trust that you are taken care of and that nothing bad can happen when you choose to be abundant.

Abundance is not about the €10,000 a month extra I want to earn; it’s about being free to do what I want. It’s not about the weight I want to lose (again), but about feeling vibrant and feeling physically healthy and free of pain. It’s not about owning a renovated home but about connecting on a deeper level to family and friends. It’s also not about having a fantastic job but about an environment where I can grow and develop myself. And finally, it’s also not about embracing myself but about self-love and radical self-acceptance. All of this, for me, is abundance. It goes so much deeper than superficial stuff.

All this is about trusting that the Universe will respond in Divine timing. It’s all about love, trust, and acceptance.

Self-sabotage

What blocks you – Resistance

Lastly, I pulled a card to find out what block you in the upcoming month. Blocking energies are always super interesting, especially when a card like Great Big Love comes up. When cards like this one come up, you look at them and wonder: “How can a fine card like this block you from fulfilling your soul purpose?

But it’s not that Great Big Love that blocks you, but the thing that you need to heal with love: self-sabotage. A card like this doesn’t come up for anything. It must be the resistance we create to experience that Great Big Love. It can be fear, jealousy, anger, sabotage. For me, self-sabotage is what I often put in front of Great, Big Love, but you may struggle with resentment or fear or whatever other feelings. They let us stumble through life and keep our eyes pinned to the ground because we’re scared to fall.

By keeping our eyes on the ground, we forget that we have to connect with the people around us, who are always there. We have them in our personal lives but also in our business life. Some people don’t leave us through our business journey. Be it a secretary who joined your company when she was 19 years old and grew along with your company until now, years later she joins the board. It can also be an accountant who has been a mentor for you ever since you started and helped you with advice along the way. Sometimes we close our eyes for the people who surround us with love.

By keeping our eyes to the ground, we also forget about the Great Big Love that made us the energy source from which we tap. It always runs through our veins. When your struggle with things in your business, you can call on that energy source that surrounds you and enjoy the abundant feeling of love. That is if you can allow yourself to experience that feeling. There can be hundreds of Great Big Love sources, but if you feel you’re not worth it or that it is not for you, then indeed, this can block you.

Experiencing abundance is about recognizing the enormous stream of energy that goes through everything in life – through you, through your business, through your clients, everything—connecting with that stream of loving energy sets yourself up for a deeper relationship that’s there for you with every breath you take. But again, when you struggle with self-sabotage, you need to surrender to Great Big Love. Peel your eyes off the ground and look within. Invite it and feel the abundance it brings with it.

Closing

If you procrastinate a lot in your business, which basically is the same as self-sabotage, it helps to understand your true north. I mean that it helps to know what you’re here to work on and how you can do that through your business. Read more about the Akashic Record Reading I’d love to do for you to help you find out what to focus on and how you can do this through the work you (have to) do.

 

 

Source Images: Oracle of the 7 Energies by Collette Baron-Reid

A message for a brand new January

First of all, happy brand New Year! I wish that the world will open up soon for you and yours and that your family’s and community’s health will be restored and prosper. I so long for giving big bear hugs to the people I love but need to keep at a distance. Hopefully, the vaccine will be distributed quickly to make this possible.

I’ve done a tarot card reading for all of us to see what to expect in January. Before I start that reading, I’d like to explain the 2021 tarot card: The Hierophant (5).

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This morning when I was editing a chapter in my new book, I read over something I wrote:

Learn to see that our food struggle is more than just an annoying aspect of our life. There is a message in it why we, of all people, get to struggle with it. How can we create that experience and build it into something more than just a struggle? What is its reason for taking up so much energy in our life? What is its ultimate goal? What have we come here to enjoy?

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A Celtic Cross for Recovery of Food Addiction

Tarot cards are not new to me. I started reading them around 1997 or so. I have always been amazed by how accurate the readings have been in any life area I used them for. But to my surprise, I never thought of using them in my recovery. It is a mystery to me why I never combined the two. This week, while driving home from work, I thought about how useful the Celtic Cross could be in recovery from food addiction. To be honest, I have always hated that spread. For one, because it is huge – and huge spreads take a lot of time to write out. Read more