Making a life change: 4 aspects not to forget

life change

Creating a life change sometimes seems so overwhelming, so big, so much hard work. Only the thought of it makes you sigh and wonder if you’ll ever make it that far.

But let me tell you that when you take a bit of time, you’ll do just fine. So please take a breath and see if this blog in which I help you lower the bar on how to make a life change.

Take the long-term route

So many people set a goal and want it yesterday. You and I both know that that isn’t going to work. By choosing an important goal and then not taking time to create the grown-up habits you will run into trouble sooner than you think.

Setting a goal with a short-term focus only creates frustration because you find out pretty quickly that it takes time to change.

By giving yourself the gift of time to take action and to make mistakes, you acknowledge that you’re human. Setting goals has a lot to do with becoming conscious of your habits and then slowly change them towards reaching a life change.

My daughter’s coach once said: “Becoming a champion isn’t so hard, but staying a champion is tough!”

It’s the same with reaching a goal. Starting a habit isn’t so hard, but maintaining them is. It means tediously doing over and over what you’re supposed to do to reach your goal.

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Define your “Yes But”

When I’d ask you if you want to reach your goal, then you’d probably say: hell yeah! I sure want to reach my goal. Yes, I want to lose weight. I want to build a successful business. Finishing my Master degree is the only thing I want. I want… I want …

When we start talking about making a life change and the goals attached, we can’t stop talking.

But when it comes to taking action, the energy goes down already. Suddenly it is all scary. If only we’d be able to reach goals by not doing anything for it.

So instead we make a plan while we’re in the honeymoon phase of goal setting. Creating a plan is still fun when wanting a life change. Taking your first action is also still fun because it is new. But soon you’ll find your first brick wall in the form of a “Yes But.” It is an obstacle you’ll have to move around, or you’ll stay there forever.

Not being able to move past your “Yes But” is the only reason why so many people fail at reaching their goals.

  • “Of course, I want to improve my health, but my job is so busy that I can’t find the time to work ”
  • “Yes, I want to build a successful business, but I don’t know how to build a good sales ”
  • “I want to work on lowering my stress, but my marriage is in shambles right ”

All great reasons to not do anything. But if you keep on hanging on to your “Yes But” you will never improve your health, never build a successful business and never be emotionally and mentally balanced.

A “Yes But” will only help you stay the victim of your circumstances. If you do not address it, it will stay there.

When you find the real problem under your “Yes But” you’ll be able to create a smooth sail towards your goal.

4 aspects not to forget when you want a life change

Making a life change is filled with disadvantages

Famous soccer player Johan Cruyff has been quoted so often with his expression in his best Amsterdam accent:

“Every disadvantage has its advantage.”

Johan Cruyff

With it, he wants to say that when you conquer the disadvantage of leaving your couch to go outside (which is a disadvantage for some) can result in the advantage of feeling better or even lose some weight.

Overcoming your reluctance to go to the gym even if it is only 10 minutes, or read the first chapter of a book that teaches you to build a sales page or meditate for 5 minutes, might even give you the advantage of feeling good about yourself because you took action.

Often you will not notice a lot from taking only one action but if you do that three times a week, let alone every day, imagine what could happen.

Understand that you are the only person who is really blocking your path. Even when you think someone else is the whole reason why you can’t make a life change. It is you and your reluctance to make a real choice. Sorry!

But you have to dive into the disadvantage first. You have to take actions that may be painful, tedious and has way too many veggies in it. First the pain, then the gain.

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Focus on sustainability

I think we all know those people who lose a massive amount of weight and then gain it all back. Maybe this is you; maybe it is someone else close by. As long as you lose weight, everybody is full of praise, but when you start to gain again, the compliments grow quiet. I meet so many people who have lost all hope.

If this is you, you have to understand that taking small actions is easier and will grow a sustainable result. You also have to do the inner work to make sustainable results possible. Address the reason why it is so hard to reach your goal or maintaining your goal.

It often has a deep inner meaning why you are unable to do so. Not keeping a simple habit has a reason. Not addressing that reason is the recipe to return to your old starting point; the situation you want to leave behind you forever.

For instance, it is so much easier to set a goal to go for a 10-minute walk instead of demanding an hour and a half every day of yourself. If you go for 10 minutes, you always walk longer than that because once you’re off your butt, have your coat on and get outside; the problem is solved. I’ve never walked for 10 minutes once I was outside. It always became 20 or 30 or even 60 minutes, just because I took a small action.

Small actions are so much more efficient than all those big-time decisions that you’re only going to hold on to for three weeks. Once the honeymoon of feeling good about yourself is over, you’re done.

Don’t develop a feel-good burn-out by demanding too much of yourself while making a life change. You can’t do it all, know it all or feel it all. Instead, go a bit easier on yourself. Gift yourself the present of time to reach your goal just a bit later than today. A goal reached in a year feels much better than a goal abandoned because you couldn’t keep up with your own high-demanding attitude.

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2 replies
  1. Zusanne
    Zusanne says:

    Thank you for your supporting words. I’m letting them soak for a while. It might take a lot more spins in the washingmachine, but you are bringing me closer to core.

    Reply

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