How I (Try to) Show up Authentically
I’ve said it before: being a business owner is the wildest self-development journey of all throughout my life. If your business helps you to one thing (if you’re serious about it), it is to show up authentically as yourself. I’ve tried to do it differently, and I failed miserable.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde
Let’s face it, there are so many coaches in this world; it’s not funny anymore. They all have excellent stuff to sell. But they also look alike, do alike, and do business alike. Why? Because they’re scared to do it their way.
Below the surface, there’s fear and insecurity because it is more complicated than you think. A question I get asked (and wondered about myself as well) is:
“How come that it’s so difficult for me and not for others? How is it possible that some people seem to hit 6 figures within a short period, and I have to hustle my butt off to even pay yourself?”
Powerful lessons to learn
I use my old business a lot in my blogs to explain their situation, just because it is a night and day difference from where I am now. In that business, I had to learn a lot when I started, as everybody does. I knew I loved helping people, and I knew I had excellent coaching skills.
I didn’t go easy on myself when I started. After the initial whooo!-phase of going solo, anxiety set in when I understood that a paycheck would only come in if I did the work. So I did what I did well, and I worked my butt off. I had a few dozen returning clients, and most of them loved working with me. But over the years, I made certain decisions that resulted in having too many costs to keep the business afloat. It was an expensive lesson, but I’m still grateful for it. It may have been an expensive hobby, as the tax office labeled me, but I learned so much. Nobody will ever take that away from me because the most powerful lesson it taught me was how misalignment feels in my body.
Not wanting to show up for my business anymore
While my business went through financial shizz, a lot was going on in my private life. This is how I learned how your state affects your business. If you’re not happy or mourning (as I was), your business, as a reflection of you, mourns with you.
I started to feel like a fraud and could no longer show up for my business authentically. It made me work even harder while I stuck my head in the sand pretending not to see it. It can’t be a surprise that it didn’t work. Luckily, I landed a freelance job as a business consultant to build a quality management system. It helped me to ground again, and to give my hurt a place in my heart.
Around that time, the Universe started to throw me signals of how misaligned my weight loss business was and after some deep thoughts about wanting to be an entrepreneur I ended my business. At first, I felt relieved, but then I started to miss the writing I did for my website, the tinkering, and the product creation. And so, I started again… as a hobby. It was utter relief.
Creating an authentic business
I learned from all this that your business needs to be aligned with who you are. But most of all, I learned that I need to show up as the soul I am on a deeper level. Showing up in an authentic business starts with doing what comes naturally to you and fills your deepest needs. Besides that, you need to feel free to show your values and opinions. I learned that from my Divine Soul Blueprint. I did the course how to read your Akashic Record just for fun, but it changed everything. It taught me to consciously choose joy, one of my soul-based desires.
In that blueprint, you find your way of doing business and how you can make it more fun and joyful experience. What I tried to sell in my weight loss business was not the right match – in fact, it was totally the opposite of what I should sell, which is understand more of who you are and to help people live a more authentic life.
Working with spiritual business owners, they also notice immediately when they are out of alignment. Recreating balance and finding the “culprit” isn’t so easy though. You need to be open to letting go of things that are not working. But since they are also very aware of where their energy goes, they find it at some point. This way they can show up again.
How I try to be authentic and show up
“The more virtual our lives get, the more we hunger after something genuine. What people really want now is not just a product or a service; it’s an experience. An experience that is more honest and transparent …more authentic – and businesses are going to have to keep up with growing consumer authority and give people what they want if they want to survive.”
― Neil Patel
Neil Patel describes it exactly right here. What we want is something real. That’s why I’ve created more copy in which I talk about how my business influenced me and how I’m creating new, more authentic strategies to create more connection and joy. Writing about my experience isn’t difficult for me. But don’t ask me to write a how-to blog about setting up the best Facebook ad. Please find someone else for that; it’s no fun for me.
And that people, is why it takes such a long time to build a business. Doing business is taking a step forward, falling on your face, getting up, finding out what went wrong, and changing the situation.
From truth
If you show up from your truth, you don’t have to constantly think about what everybody expects from you. It is exhausting to think for someone else. If you show up for who you are, your prospects know what to expect from you. If they have different expectations, they need to find someone else. I can tell you it’s not worth the money to deliver to expectations you can’t deliver if it leaves you with cash but no health. Showing up like yourself may mean that you’ll lose people, but they weren’t yours from to begin with.
On the other hand, you will also attract people who sigh in relief that they’ve finally found someone like them. Your kind of people will be a fun and relatable group of people with the same quirks you have. They will feel nurtured by you because you understand how they tick. It all becomes easy to do your “thing”. This way, you’ll create ambassadors who will root for you any which way and mention your name – and that’s what you want.
I hear from my clients that they struggle with feeling not good enough or feel held back by what they share with the world. I was there myself, and I wonder if this has to do with trying to be someone else. Those expectations of who you should be or show up can never be filled. You are not that person, so if you hold on to those expectations, you’ll still experience an energy leak in your business.
What I love doing
I love writing, personal development, authenticity, spirituality, intuitive tools like tarot and oracle cards, and I just loooove the soul realignment change processes. They are all words that reflect my life journey, and I bet that there are people who are on a journey like that. My life changed when I allowed myself to write about those topics. A bit careful in the beginning, but quite outspoken lately.
I also stand for creating joy in life and business. Following that value feels good. Allowing yourself to feel good about your life and business is so much more fun than I used to experience in my old business. You are allowed to have fun as well. If things are no longer fun, then review them to make them easier or more fun. If it’s not possible? Dump ‘m.
I also love planning, bullet journaling, journal writing, and reflection. It’s what I consistently do, and it supports my self-care. As an introvert, I need to mind myself first and then think of others. This is what I teach: become free like a bird in my business without all the expectations I put up with. I needed multiple burnouts to conclude that I need to follow my own compass and find my North Star.
Only this way can I do like I say. I don’t have to be afraid to be caught doing something I didn’t preach. It’s based on a truth my grandfather used to say. He used to say: “Say what you’ll do and do as you say.” Okay, so he said it in this beautiful dialect, and translation doesn’t give him any credit, but it all comes down to being honest with what you say and offer what you say exactly. Trust that your offer is good enough. It’s just okay.
Photo by Paul IJsendoorn from Pexels
As a metaphysical transformation expert and mentor, she helps her clients move through the messy middle of life change. She helps them find the courage to make difficult decisions and take the steps to make it true.
She also develops courses for tarot and personal development, as she uses her cards as a mirror instead of a way to predict her future. She lives in Oosterwolde (Friesland, Nederland) with her husband.
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